Him and his smooth seductive skin
by penned-name
Summary: Naruto has this problem of pimple attacks on his face. Comes along with it were other problems: His hate over Sasuke's hot hot hot smooth seductive facial skin. Oh my, did Naruto said seductive? Oh, i think i smell gayness! Special participation: Hermoine
1. Zitzitzits! let's hit it!

**I like this idea before, especially when I had my ever first facial treatment. I hope you find this story interesting.**

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"Sayonara to you…" Naruto stared to the reflection on the mirror. His face is wet, washed off by water; that of which was covered on soapsuds a while ago.

"And to you… to you… and _you!" _He was referring on those reddish zits (some blackish because of natural semi-healing of pressured-forced squeezing) growing on his face; with a special intonation on the last –on to which regarded to the BIGGEST and NEWEST one of them all.

He then wiped his face thoroughly and flashed an unconvincing charming grin to himself. He still looked goofy and dumb in spite of the cool attempt. Naruto is not wearing his orange ninja suit today, its summer and the weather is very hot. And so, he preferred a white sando shirt, partnered by a cool faded jeans.

"Asta Lavista Baby…" That was a gruesome, spine-chilling wink, followed by a pathetic point-fingers run-down on his blonde sideburns. His ever-blue eyes sparkled with excitement.

"…And hello, to the upcoming gorgeous man! _Well, not that I'm not now…" _He defended himself over himself. Such an idiotic monologue to witness. He then took a memory picture of himself for the before and after comparison. He was talking to himself for some minutes now, prolonging the process.

_Well, well, well, Naruto, Naruto, Naruto, Stare to this man, for this would be the last time you'll see him. _He again, whispered to his inner-self.

But, Finally, his "in his dreams" fantasizing act was interrupted.

"Sir, are you not finished yet?" The woman in a white robe looked pissed and losing out of patience. She was already crossing her arms, and fidgeting her right foot.

Naruto blushed. The woman might be watching him from the very start. He just then dried his hand with the towel and scratched his head. His hair was facing down, for he accidentally wetted it with water while washing his face. Plus the fact that he is not wearing his orange ninja suit, He looked totally different from his usual looks.

"Aye, I'm done." He hastily replied.

Naruto is very excited to experience his first facial treatment. He wanted to do this for a long time now, only that he cant find a time to go to this kind of place with the assurance that his friends wouldn't see him. Damn those ninja trainings and missions, that makes his tan colored angelic face all-dirtied up, plus the fact that most of the time, those ninja missions for the past months happens all night up to the next morning, he was always deprived of proper sleep.

It was really funny though, he had to pretend he is sick to secretly go to this facial treatment place, and skip his ninja training. You know, going to facials are embarrassing, especially if you know that your face is already covered up with acne, and yucky yellowish liquid oozing from it. For him, going to a place like this is like accepting that he has turned ugly with all the zits, and loosing confidence about it, which on his denial, the truth about him.

But then, he thought about Sasuke. He wondered why that unbelievable (in a disgusted way) guy even though always on their missions and trainings, still looks hot, and zit-less. That let him hate Sasuke more. But to think of it, what he really hated was how unfair nature was, making Sasuke so gorgeous, so hot, and so sexy, with that ever-smooth porcelain facial skin.

There was an intentional cough. "_This way Sir_. SIR, I SAID THIS WAY." The woman looked really, really pissed with Naruto's floating mind.

The woman on the white robe assisted him to the bed where the process will be done. Just then, not far from his standing place, he saw a suspicious looking guy with a hat, wearing an investigator cloak in spite of the hot weather, with awful looking shades. That guy was looking doubtful on entering that facial treatment place, looking to his right and to his left as if a paranoid guy.

"WHAT A TOTAL JERK." That was Naruto's initial reaction. _Enter the place if you want your pimples done, not like that, being such a clumsy looking detective_. He was not considering the way he chose to enter the place, unto how he devastatingly hid on the compartment of a push-trolley with facial medicine and treatments he found outside the mall. Wasn't that makes him a jerk too?

"SIR, now, lie down on the bed will you, so WE COULD START?" The woman on the white robe said in gritted teeth.

"Ah, yes, yes!" Naruto then hastily placed his towel on the nearest table, including his headgear. He moves to his slowest, for he wanted to take a peek on that guy. He can't help it but to be curious on him, sneaking outside the Glow-radiance spa and facial treatment place.

Naruto's slow movement was just right, for the guy finally entered the door.

"SIR, NOW PLEASE. LETS GET GOING!" The woman in the white robe was never this pissed, but Naruto remained still. He doesn't know why somehow, he remembers someone on the way the man walk, and stand.

"Arigato! Sir!" Another woman wearing white robe the same greeted the new comer. Obviously, that is the place's worker's uniform. "Sir, you can now take of your hat, your sun glasses and your coat now, and I'll assist you towards the washing area." The man is shaking. He walked like a turtle, very observant of the place.

Naruto looked at the guy and eyed him walk towards the washing area. The mysterious guy then took of his cover-up wardrobe. As he freed himself over his attire, Naruto's eyes widened more. That shiny black hair looked very similar to some one he knew, as well as those ebony eyes, so deep and daring, such passion-fired.

"Sir, sir are you OK?" Naruto's color was washed off to white. The woman assisting her was now a little worried on Naruto's weird attitude.

"Aye- yes yes! Better than ok. Ha ha." His laugh was obviously fake. Naruto immediately jumped on the bed and immediate lied on it. "Faster. Put me some cream on the face or something…"

The woman assisting Naruto was never this confused, she was pissed a while ago, now she was worried and puzzled. She just did as Naruto said, while Naruto's mind was only thinking of one thing- _he must not see me. He must not see me. This is so embarrassing!!!!_

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**Please read and review. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. I'm pathetically begging. I love you all!**


	2. It's just like magic

I went hyper and all writing this. Sorry if its sooo crack. I got an idea from dakota review. Thanks to you! I tried making this longer. I could make this longer, but my head is already spinning. Ciao

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Taking off his investigator-looking body all-over cover is like shedding off skin. He felt more than naked being seen on that place, that Glow-radiance spa and facial treatment center. If it isn't for those damn little plumps and bumps appearing like mushrooms on his forehead, he wont dare to make an effort for this embarrassing act. He even secretly waltzed out of their ninja training, and he loathed doing something like this discrepancy to his sensei.

Then a flashback came to him, an incident that just happened about an hour past from that time. He had just successfully escaped from his ninja training without getting noticed, when he bumped in to one of the hottest man in Konoha, with that smooth and porcelain skin he has. He was really envious on that man's attractive face, so white, like silk. But still, there is hate on his emotion's part, specially that the woman he wanted is practically literally drooling over that hot, hot, hot, seductive guy. Oh no, seductive. I can't believe it. I'm not gay like Naruto. Yikes. Slap me slap, slap, slap. But hey, is Naruto gay? Hmm, that I'm not sure 100.

_And so… he thought of what had happened a while a go._

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"Bwahahaha! I escaped! I am a fugitive. A criminal. The bees and the flowers conspire with me. The world is nice and the butterflies are great. I love me! Me! Me!" He pounced and did some turning twirls. His arms were up, arching together, his feet tiptoeing like a ballerina. He loved doing that when he is happy, not that he knows it's a awful sight to see, oh when will he be just s normal kid, that rocky-rocky Lee?

"Hn, _So disgusting."_ That hot, hot seductive man muttered in almost a whisper. He looked at Rock Lee's bushy eyebrows. He hated it that they both have ebony eyes and black hair, he felt that it made him ugly too. But he stared on Lee's forehead though, where a very, very big difference between them is very evident.

"Sa-sa-suke… Please, don't stare." Lee immediately covered his forehead.

"Hn…" he sarcastically sighed, getting his sight away from Lee's zit-full face. He was looking for Naruto, for he is not on their training, and seeing Lee dance like a gay flamingo is the least he wanted to lurk his delicate eyes upon. Seeing Lee is like piercing laser light to his eyes. _I rather see Naruto's cute zit-full face rather than Lee's chimpanzee-like zit-infested face. _He told himself.

"Have you seen the dumb-ass?" He can't resist asking Lee.

"Nani? Dumb-ass?"

"Hn_, I said dumb-ass you dumb-ass_!" He said in a low but soft voice. Sasuke always do that, keeping it low in sound level but making it sure the one he's talking to is hearing it clear. That way he doesn't look craving for attention like them.

"You are being redundant Sasuke." Rock Lee's hand is still on his forehead. But he managed to sway his feet like a soft jellyfish. He smiled idiotically.

"…Or does it mean…" He placed his point finger in his temple and appeared to be thinking hard. "I am the one you are looking for, because you had just called me dumb-ass, on which is also the name you had called the person you are looking for. But thinking of it…" Lee analyzed. Sasuke can almost see moving haywire through Lee's tiny winy head. "You haven't said: 'Have you seen dumb-ass, dumb-ass?' Awhile ago during your first inquiry… But…"

Sasuke can't believe Lee being unbelievable (unbelievable in a pathetic way).

"_I am being redundant- B-A-K-A."_ Sasuke just almost like exhaled that out.

"Oh. So that settles it." Lee said while stomping his right fist on his left open palm. Sasuke almost was thankful for he thought that's the end of Lee's unending useless thinking But, hell. He was wrong.

"…Does it mean I am really dumb-ass? Like the one dumb ass you are looking for? Is he like Rock Lee the second, or me as his second protégé?"

"_I- am- looking- for- Naruto-, Lee." _He said slowly with an irritated stare on Lee's eyes.

"Oh. Naruto? Do I look like Naruto?"

"Oh Lee. I want to pop the hell out your pimples, like how I want to _kill_ you." Sasuke said with gritted teeth and bulging mad nerves on his head, to Lee, now in normal sound level.

Lee just zipped his mouth and remembered his plan for the day. He then slowly looked up attempting to see his forehead, which to his dismay, not possible. He then slowly looked to the place Sasuke is standing and admired again how beautiful Sasuke's skin is.

"What?" Sasuke asked irritably.

"Ah, ah, Nothing." Lee faced his head down.

Sasuke then just jumped and disappeared.

_Oh, why is that he is so handsome and all? Sasuke's skin is so radiant white; he could even pass up for a lotion model on TV. Life is so unfair_. He knows how all ninjas get dirty on ninja trainings and how they all together do missions in sleepless nights. And yet, Sasuke seemed never was with them… He meant, never was with them, with that perfect not-so ninja-like skin.

While walking towards the next town's mall where a leading facial center has its franchised branch, Lee rembered Sasukes words: _Oh Lee. I want to pop the hell out your pimples, like how I want to kill you_. He then thought of disguising first, because he felt uglier because of those hurting words, on which was said to him by the guy he considers the most attractive guy in Konoha.

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"_He must not see me, he must not see me. This is so embarrassing."_ Naruto repeated like a mantra to his thoughts. White cream is already brushed to his face, and it was hard for him to remain still.

"Sir, please don't move, I might put cream on your mouth." The lady giving Naruto a facial treatment said. She cant help but wonder why Naruto is being this shaky.

"Gomen." Naruto said. He peeped through his half open eye and checked if it was Rock Lee that he saw. But, Lee was not in the washing area now. He wondered where is that guy now?

"Sir, can I know your name please? By the way, I'm Hermoine." The lady introduced herself while finishing of the cream brushing. Naruto's eyes opened to its maximum to see if it was Hermoine Granger from the School of Witch craft and Wizardry. They had once a mission on the wizardry world, and there he knew how popular Hermoine, Ron and Harry are. He was shocked because a straight-haired Hermoine appeared to his sight, looking down to him. He didn't recognize her, she really looked different with that hair, on which is very different from the messy and dry hair Hermoine is known of.

"HERMOINE GRANGER! IS THAT REALLY YOU!" Naruto's loudness came out of him despite his resistance of it a while ago. A crash was heard just near him, but he didn't care about it. Being with Hermoine is such a biggy time for him.

"Hush it down Yes, Sir. I am, what is it to you anyway? Do you know me?" Hermoine looked petrified. It was her first week in Japan; she just had her first week of summer in Konoha because her parents had just opened a branch there of their facial center. Because of her intelligence, he easily mastered Nihonggo, that's why she could talk fluently to Naruto.

"I had been on Hogwarts! The school of magic!!!" Naruto said in English, with a crappy attempt of British Accent.

It was Hermoine's turn to be shocked. She almost choked out of her own saliva. She then accidentally dropped the facial cream she is holding. Some people laughed inside the facial treatment place, hearing Naruto's sentence. There was another crashing sound nearby.

"_Hush it down please, I don't really know how you knew about Hogwarts, but please keep it soft…" _Hermoine whispered. Her hair is really astonishing.Hermoine looked very beautiful with straight hair.

"Ok, ok. I can't wait to do this." With all the cream on his face, Naruto flashed a wide grin.

"Do what?" Hermoine said, after standing up from picking the dropped facial cream. She then get a towel and dipped it on hot water, on which would be placed on Naruto's face for the treatment.

"This……" Naruto's eyes sparkled sinisterly and spoke loudly. "VOLDEMORT!" He got up to his lying to sit straight. "VOOOOLDEMORT!!!!" He pointed everywhere. "VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT! VOLDEMORT… VOOOOOOOLDEMOT!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!"

Hermoine flinched. And flinched some more.

"Vo-vo-vo-vo-voldemort." Naruto teasingly sung it in a tune.

Hermoine was so freaked out; she then accidentally pushed the bowl of hot water on Naruto's lap.

"WAHH! HOTHOTHOTHOTHOT!!!!"

"WAHH! Where is him where, where, where?"

Both of them where looking on disaster. Hermoine wished she is allowed to do some magic or wished Harry is here, while Naruto wished he could call the fox in him or Sasuke to save him. After some few minutes, both of them then realized what they wished for was is not needed. They had recovered from their own small panic attacks.

Some white robe ladies helped Naruto be assisted on the restroom to wash himself with cold water. Hermoine waited for him to come back after some minutes.

"I'm sorry." Naruto came back scratching his head. It was another English- british accented phrase.

"Gomen. I'm sorry for the hot water." They smiled with one another. Forgiveness was easy for the two. Budding friendship is about to happen.

"So, would you like to continue the facial treatment process? With in my hands?" Hermoine gave off peals of sweet laughters. "You know, facials ROCK. There is nothing to be afraid of. It makes you more handsome after the treatment. It's just the same as my hair straightening. See how good the effect is? There is nothing wrong if you wanted any not-so-good part of you to be done. You know. Change is always good, especially if it is for the better. " Naruto nodded like a kid. She then assisted Naruto to lie down the bed.

"I noticed you are bothered about doing this facial treatment a while ago. I am happy you are not now. Just wait and see and you'll be the hottest guy in Konoha!" Hermoine resumed on putting a cloth on the warm water, while Naruto remembered why he is so uneasy a while ago. Rock Lee. Where is Lee? Is he still here? And Sasuke. Naruto then remembered how hot, hot, hot, Sasuke's skin is, and he hated him more for that. But who cares about that now? I am just happy to meet Hermoine, and maybe sometime she'll teach me how to make a potion for growing BIG zits for him to give Sasuke to drink.

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The ending is some kinda forced. I wish I made it more detailed. Love you all. I know I could have done better, but nonetheless, I think it is cracky, cracky, cracky :P


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